You ever get that feeling? Like you’re being watched… but not in the fun, flirty way. In the way that makes your skin tighten, your spine straighten, your heart beat just a bit too fast?
I brushed it off—until I couldn’t anymore.
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When a “Hey” Becomes a Haunting
It started innocently enough. 11 years ago now; a message on Grindr that still worries me to this day!
He said he was “just down the road,” his profile pic was blank—nothing new there—and he used that classic Grindr greeting:
“Hey.”
I ignored it.
He messaged again.
“Hey.”
Then: “U there?”
Then came the first real red flag:
“Can I buzz up?”
I hadn’t given him my address. I never would. But… maybe I mentioned the area in my profile?
Still. The tone was weird. Too familiar. Like we already knew each other.
Then the message that made my stomach twist:
“You looked bored today. Long shift?”
How did he know where I worked?
How did he know I looked bored?
Was he watching me?
“I Saw You Again…”
I didn’t reply. I locked my phone and sat there, still.
The next few weeks? A nightmare in slow motion.
He was a ghost in my pocket.
Every time I blocked him, he came back. New blank profile. Same tone. Same twisted familiarity.
“You shop at that Tesco a lot, huh?”
I never told him that. Never posted about it. Never shared my location.
“Wish you’d said hi.”
“You always wear those jeans.”
“Your building’s entry system is so annoying, I tried again.”
It wasn’t dramatic. It wasn’t loud.
But the fear? The fear was constant.
The Quiet Horror of Online Stalking
You expect danger to be loud. Obvious. Like a scream in the night.
But this?
This was subtle. Calculated. Drenched in digital breadcrumbs.
There was never a confrontation. Never a face-to-face. Just constant eyes. Just… watching.
The worst part?
He never did anything “illegal.” Just enough to scare me. Never enough to report.
That’s how some of the worst stalkers move: silently. Just outside the lines.
Let’s Talk About Online Dating Apps
Apps like Grindr, Tinder, Hinge — we treat them like fun. Casual. Maybe even chaotic. But rarely dangerous.
But Grindr in particular?
- Shows you who’s nearby.
- Doesn’t require a profile pic.
- Allows anonymous messages.
- Makes it easy for someone to recreate profiles endlessly.
If someone really wants to stalk you through Grindr, all they need is a general location, timing, and persistence.
It becomes a game of digital hide-and-seek.
Except… you’re not playing.
“Did He Ever Stop?”
People always ask me that. Did he stop?
No.
He just… disappeared.
I blocked enough profiles. Switched up routines. Changed habits. Maybe that spooked him off.
Or maybe…
He just moved on to someone else.
Final Thoughts: The Danger Behind “Hey”
I still flinch when I see a new blank profile on my radar.
Still feel my chest tighten when someone says “saw you earlier.”
And I’m careful now. More than ever.
Because behind every “hey,”
there could be a ghost.
A watcher.
A stalker.
Safe Dating Tips Block (Optional WordPress “Callout Box” or Styled Divider)
🔒 How to Protect Yourself on Dating Apps:
- Turn off exact location features when possible
- Don’t list where you work or frequent hangout spots
- Be cautious about sharing your neighborhood, building, or routine
- Use in-app blocking and reporting tools
- Trust your gut — if someone makes you uneasy, you don’t owe them a reply
Your Experiences?
Ever had a weird experience with a dating app? Let’s talk. Drop it in the comments or DM me on my socials. Stay safe out there, lovers.
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